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Finding Malaiyo

When you slip a spoonful of  Malaiyo into your mouth, the froth of stiffly churned milk meets the cold dew of a winter’s night on the tip of your tongue. Malaiyo is a winter dessert of Varanasi, available only on the cold misty mornings of this season. As a dessert, it checks many boxes- it's  light, sweet and  fragrant. It comes in a small earthen pot with the mouth the size of your palm and depth that of a thimble. It’s gone before you know it, but it’s heavy flavours linger long after you have swallowed the last fluffy spoonful. But... for any self respecting idea or dish there are always buts. Before the buts, a little about how Malaiyo is made. There’s something magical about  the process when a local explains it to you You boil the milk in the Kadhai for sometime. How long? You will know when it’s done. Then? Then we leave it out under the cold sky through the night. Just like that, in the open? Of course not. We cover it with a fine mesh
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Varanasi , Nov 2019

History, mythology, epic, poetry, drama, folklore and legend flow and merge into this ancient city and its scared river. The city is bent over by the weight of spiritualism that these many rivulets carry into this old, historic city. And that is what I came to find in Varanasi/ Banaras/Kasi.  That with peace, learning, enlightenment, benediction, redemption, salvation, liberation. More big words, more burden.  Any city approached against this reputation will suffer. In this Varanasi doesn’t’ disappoint.  Among the noisy  roads, the clamouring streets,  hungry mouths, greedy touts, priests who like any good business men speak in your own tongue, telling you the stories you want to hear and just as swiftly turn into an Avenging Angel of Moral Justice when they feel they are under-paid,  there is no space here for spirituality, unless you are happy with a bottled, erstaz version, for a price naturally. The River is majestic. The Banaras/ Varanasi/ Kasi of lea

Rape and the Indian Male

Rape and the Indian Male Nirbhaya,  Pondicherry  and all the others in between. Minors, teens, working women, tourists, Indians, foreigners- it doesn’t matter who. Or where. Or when. Post Nirbhaya, there has been a spate of rape cases reported rape in  India . A part of me thinks it is because women are now finding the courage to come up and report the violence done unto them. A part of me wonders if there just has been an increase in the number of women being raped in our country. The reality is probably a combination of both.
More battles against patriarchy-  On matters of siz e Very recently, we were chatting, my girlfriends and I and as it so often when a bunch of women are talking, the thoughts turned to size. Somebody felt she was ‘fat’. The rest of use rushed in to defend her ‘If you think you are, you should see me?’ “of course you are no’ “You look good.” All that validation and I got thinking.

Everyday Battles against Patriarchy, Culture and other irritants.

Everyday Battles against Patriarchy, Culture and other irritants. Today I held back on going to the gym because I had to make coffee for my husband. And that got me thinking. If asked, we would automatically define household as modern, our relationship as one of equals etc. Yet much our roles are played out in the conventional mould. The reason, I concluded is the result of our upbringing. My husband, like all men of his generations, has been provided, by rearing and / by education with a skill set that is marketable, employable and can be exchanged for money. Me?

Why you should oppose 377 even if you are a heterosexual and no, it is not what you think.

Why you should oppose 377 even if you are a heterosexual and no,  it is not what you think. There is very little left to be said about this issue. Yet, enough cannot be said about why this is so wrong for everybody, and it is not just because you could be arrested for having oral sex with your consenting adult partner in your bedroom.

Reclaiming Karva Chauth

When I moved to the North of India, Karva Chauth stopped being a trope in Hindi movies and became a real live thing- dinners were delayed and events were cancelled because of it; and there were all round me, on that day the oxymoron of simultaneous fasting and celebration. I was at that time a young mother, unsure writer and part time teacher, so I just allowed it all to drift past me without engagement